FortuneCookies

If it can electrocute you or blind you, it's layer 1. - Gerald Combs

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway - Andrew S. Tanenbaum

In fact, you can throw away the last three syllables of 'superhighway'. It's a soup. Call it Information Soup and we're getting somewhere - Charles S. Murray

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. - Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)

Every tool carries with it the spirit by which it was created. - Werner Karl Heisenberg (1901-1976)

It is impossible to make anything foolproof, because fools are so ingenious.

Software is like entropy. It is difficult to grasp, weighs nothing, and obeys the second law of thermodynamics; i.e., it always increases. - Norman R. Augustine

It could easily be accomplished with a computer. - Dr. Strangelove

Oh, so they have internet on computers now! - Homer Simpson

If you pronounce it "sextuple-u" you increase syllabic efficiency some 56% - M. A. Padlipsky

There are only 10 types of people in this world... those who understand binary, and those who don't.

I would like to die peacefully sleeping like my grandfather, instead of screaming and full of fear as his co-driver

Good artists borrow. Great artists steal. - Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)

A good composer does not imitate, he steals. - Igor Stravinsky (1882-1971)

When you steal from one author, it's plagarism. When you steal from many, it's research. - Wilson Mizner (1876-1933), U.S. screenwriter

All dreams spin out from the same web. - Hopi wisdom

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

All our science, measured against reality, is primitive and childlike--and yet it is the most precious thing we have. - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer. - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Not everything that can be counted, counts. And not everything that counts can be counted. - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible. - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Things should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler. - Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it. - Salvador Dalí (1904-1989)

Every act of creation is first an act of destruction. - Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)

I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it. - Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. - Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. - Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams (1952-2001)

Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work. - Gallagher

You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother. - Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

I cannot say whether things will get better if we change; what I can say is they must change if they are to get better. - Georg Christopher Lichtenberg (1742 - 1799)

An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come. - Victor Hugo (1802 - 1885)

Measure what is measurable, and make measurable what is not so. - Galileo Galilei (1564 - 1642)

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool. - Richard Feynman (1918 - 1988)

What can be said at all can be said clearly, and what we cannot talk about we must pass over in silence. - Ludwig Wittgenstein (1889 - 1951)

The average human being has one breast and one testicle.

Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly, it is completely honest. - Isaac Asimov

Confusion is always the most honest response. - Marty Indik

Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted. - Aldous Huxley

It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong. - Voltaire

RMS - a man who can polarize a room into warring factions just by walking by. - Joe Barr

As for the philosophical stuff, think of it as broccolli: it's good for you... - Brian Germain

There's no place like 127.0.0.1.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Prayer is asking for rain. Faith is carrying the umbrella.

A computer cuts your work in half and gives you back the bloody ends.

1st Rule of Electronics: keep the smoke inside.

The real problem is not whether machines think but whether men do. - B. F. Skinner

Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't the fine line between sanity and madness gotten finer? - George Price

Debian Sarge is released! Hell has officially frozen over! - 6-6-2005

If your work can be easily copied, it should be. - Doc Hammer

An inventor is simply a fellow who doesn't take his education too seriously. - Charles F. Kettering

If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going. - Professor Irwin Corey

Furious activity is no substitute for understanding. - H. H. Williams

If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants. - Isaac Newton (1642 - 1727)

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. - Soren Kierkegaard (1813 - 1855)

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half. - Gracie Allen (1906 - 1964)

An undefined problem has an infinite number of solutions. - Robert A. Humphrey

Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself. - A. H. Weiler

Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it. - Cullen Hightower

Part of being sane, is being a little bit crazy. - Janet Long

My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared. - P. J. Plauger

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - Noel Coward

There are two ways to slide easily through life; to believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking. - Alfred Korzybski

An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field. - Niels Bohr

The trouble with facts is that there are so many of them. - Samuel McChord Crothers

In real life, unlike in Shakespeare, the sweetness of the rose depends upon the name it bears. Things are not only what they are. They are, in very important respects, what they seem to be. - Hubert H. Humphrey

Mochae of any sort are lovely, but iced mocha on a hot day makes me happy to be alive, in the literal sense that it forcibly alters my brain chemistry. - Lore Sjöberg

We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know. - W. H. Auden

Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading. - G. M. Trevelyan

Where all think alike, no one thinks very much. - Walter Lippmann

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. - Rich Cook

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone. - Tommy Cooper

Never judge a book by its movie. - J. W. Eagan

Of those who say nothing, few are silent. - Thomas Neill

Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day. - Harry S Truman

One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. - Elbert Hubbard

There is no best practice. There are practices that fit best. - Bob Lewis

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents. - Nathaniel Borenstein

Television is a new medium. It's called a medium because nothing is well-done. - Fred Allen